Life's been very busy lately.....
I can't believe that there'd be a time when I'd write light heartedly. I like the thread "October dump but make it about little wins" on Twitter ......
Hii dear, it’s been a minute. Life has been super busy these past months, so I barely had the time to pause much less write. I hope you’re doing well. I am fine.
The other day, I was looking for a word on Google. I had an idea of what I was looking for, but I couldn’t seem to place my finger on the exact word, so I ended up going downhill reading and learning about things similar to what I was looking for; - Emotional, compassionate, affective and cognitive empathy, cognitive and emotional intelligence, cognitive dissonance, apathy, their psychology, etc. Later that night on my walk back home from work, I tried another search technique on Google and voila, I got a word similar to what I was looking for. The word I was looking for was ‘callous.’ At least that described close to it. Ohh, the joy in my heart when I finally found it. Woohooo! Plus, I gained extra knowledge in the process of searching.
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Today, I was watching a video from someone I find to be emotionally intelligent, and she mentioned being demisexual. I instantly looked up that word because I’ve never heard about it before and what I found was something new. I didn’t even know there was a word like that. Of course, thanks to Google, I ended up finding out other related words and their meanings. - Allosexual, gray sexual, gynosexual, orchid sexual, fray sexual, etc. I intentionally not put their meanings on here so that you can look them up (if you are as curious as I am) and go downhill learning about other new words like I did.
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I like the thread "October dump but make it about little wins" on Twitter so I'll add some of mine on here.
Asides the 3 countries I have resided in and have the privilege to call home (Nigeria, Ukraine and Hungary), I finally hit my 10th number of countries that I' have visited.
On one of those trips, my most recent being Vienna, I found out what it feels like to fall in love with a city. I only read in books or watch in movies about people falling in love with certain cities. Experiencing it happen to me felt surreal. I fell in love with Vienna, and I fell hard! I cannot even begin to describe to you what it was exactly that made me love it there. Oh wait, I can. EVERYTHING!! I'm smiling even as I write this just thinking about it. I look forward to going back to Vienna and even more, discovering and falling in love with other cities.
It’s official. The first city I fell in love with is Vienna!
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I found clarity on some thoughts that plagued my mind.
On one of those days when the thought "you need to take your life seriously" plagued my mind nonstop, I found myself walking on a random street towards the bus stop that would take me home. On the way, I came across a random book cart shop on the street and I decided to check if they had English books. Luckily for me that day, they had. I spent about 30 mins plus perusing through books lost in that world. Finally, I selected four books to buy (because I knew books were pricey and buying them at that moment was kind of unplanned/unbudgeted), and I handed it over to the seller to pay. When she told me the price, I was shocked. They were so cheap. Less than 5 euros. I was very surprised but then they were secondhand books, so it made sense. That's how I went back to perusing more books to buy and I ended up going home with 8 books.
I had not the best day at the beginning but best believe that I was smiling after that. Life felt good for a few minutes after that. The thought "is this your way of taking your life seriously?" snuck into my mind for a millisecond but my guilty happy mind ignored it. At least I had hard copy books to read. ‘Everything is going to be okay’. I thought to myself. Thinking about it now, buying those books in that moment was kind of a guilty pleasure thing.
The win here would be getting hard copy books because I have been reading online which I don't exactly enjoy.
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I tried paintballing with my colleagues. Ohhh, it was fun, but I think I'm going to enjoy it more if I tried it with friends. My dear friends, add it to your future to-do list. If we are ever in the same location, let's try paintballing together. I'm going to shoot you so many times and you can't get mad at me for it. Side bar: the paintball when shot at you hurts a bit. You'll probably hate me in that moment but knowing at the back of your mind that I still love you might make you hate me less. Lol.
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Though it seems now that this era might be coming to an end, I couldn’t help but think about how unlike other people who get to travel for holidays, fun or at freewill, my life’s journey obligated me to travel to countries and places I never thought of or imagined I'd visit some years back. Some, I didn’t even know they existed or know their names until I had something that required me to be there. E.g. Hungary, Vilnius, Moldova, etc.
After much thought, I decided that since my life’s journey thrusted me in the traveling direction in the past when I was looking for something, now that I have gotten it, I would like to keep traveling. I traveled before because I had to, and those trips were never for fun or vacation. Now, going forward, I don’t have to make those obligatory trips anymore so I would like to continue traveling just for the vibes.
To be fair, I actually enjoy traveling. The past obligatory trips kinda unleashed the Ajala in me. Such that after one trip, I’m already scheming the next potential one in my head. If not for finances and visa limitations, what is 190 plus countries that I cannot visit? Lol.
I’m a bit worried about the financial part and the availability of time since prior trips had mandatory force/reason behind them. I’m not sure what would happen now that such force/reason is absent (now that it’s just vibes). We will see. I'm also trusting God that it will work out eventually.
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I quit my part time job.
Actually, as of editing this newsletter, I’d quit my main job too. I quit because I was moving on to another phase of life. Nothing serious. At my main job, everyone was kind to one another.
"If I give you less than you deserve, and you stay for it, you deserve exactly that.” I think the same applies to how people treat you.
The girls I worked with at the part time job were not the nicest of people and I put up with their bad attitudes for a long time because I needed the money. I was going to stay longer but when it became overbearing, I had to make a choice between money and a not-so-great/kind workspace.
I realized that I needed the money yeah, but I don't have to continue to stay in such a space when I don’t want to be there. I'm learning that whilst I have to tolerate others, there's a limit to what I have to take regardless of the situation, and I have to learn to put myself first. So, I did that. I quit. Although, I had to convince and reassure myself countless times that I'd be okay without the money before I finally quit.
P.s: I'd also thought of possible alternatives before quitting (pls don't pull this stunt in real life without much thought). Also, I put up with their attitudes for 5 months+ because at the early stages I couldn't afford to quit. When I finally quit, it was because I knew that I would be okay without it. I'd reached a stable place with my finances that I knew that I'd survive somehow without the job.
Asides the above, I was thankful for the opportunity. I learned how to work as a waitress which to be honest, I'd always wanted to do. It was part of the reasons I tolerated everything and stayed back. Because I wanted to learn, and I did that. I gained the experience. All the early grooming stages of how to become a pro at being a waiter, I learned it from there and now I can take on a job as a waiter at any restaurant confidently and even better, deal with asshole-y colleagues.
So, I had nothing to lose at the end of the day. They also probably had nothing to lose too. Why, I took on the part time job coupled with a main job is a story I will tell another day.
By the way, I'd never understand foreigners being mean to other foreigners in another man’s country. I genuinely don't get it.!
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I took a tech related course entrance exam, and I passed it. Passing was a big deal to me because I had to juggle work, other daily life extracurriculars and reading like mad for the entrance exam that is in a field way out of what I was familiar with. I was barely sleeping 4 hours daily during the period I was preparing for the exam, but I passed my set target. So, yeah, a win.
That’s it for October recap. You can also write to tell me what you have been up to in the past month. See you in my next newsletter.❤️
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First written: November 2, 2024
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I discovered many songs since the last time I wrote you but here are some that I like and have on repeat.
Domino by AEO
The Story I’ll tell by Naomi Raine
Greatman Takit - Look what you’ve done
Greatman Takit - Holy Spirit
My Lover by 121 Selah
Te Amo by 121 Selah (shoutout to Maryhelp for the music linkup❤️)
Juba by AEO
LNB (acoustic) by AEO (shout out to Adebayo Dr. for putting me on to this jam and AEO’s other songs❤️)
We Bless by Sinach
Wo ye by MOG music
Stand by you by Spyro
Smile for me - Simi
Oil on my head - Joe mettle
Boo ni noo by Joe Mettle
Give me oil by Joe Mettle, etc.